Children, obey your parents in the Lord because this is right. Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment with a promise, so that it may go well with you and that you may have a long life in the land.,Fathers, don’t stir up anger in your children, but bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. Eph 6:1–4.
Spend a few hours watching kids’ TV shows, and a common theme emerges. The mom is the leader of the home, the dad is the blubbering comic relief, and the kids are not only the hero’s of the show but disrespectful to the parents. Obedience should be one of the first values we impart to our children in the home. Obedience, as I like to tell my kids, can save your life. Proverbs 1:8, “Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction, and don’t reject your mother’s teaching.” The church at Ephesus was a multi-ethnic mix of families who needed to know how to live differently. Like many of our modern cities, Ephesus was a difficult place to live out the Christian faith. Sexual immorality and lifestyles opposite biblical teaching were as common then as they are today.
Everyone has a role to play in the home. The part of children is to obey their parents and grow in the fear and knowledge of the Lord. That means children should be maturing in their understanding of who God is and living in a manner where they respect the Lord and their parents. The Scripture tells us why our children should obey because it is correct. If you are looking for a great scripture to have your kids memorize, this is a good one. God has promised in the 5th commandment that honoring your mother and father leads to a long life, and things will go well for you.
Parents have the responsibility to love, correct and train their children in the right way to go, but ultimately, pointing them to obey the Lord. In Roman culture, children were often treated harshly. The father had the ultimate power over his children; they could be discarded or even aborted. Even in Judaism, the punishment for children was often severe. Children in the eyes of the Lord are a blessing, not a curse; they are image-bearers. To Fathers, the instruction is to train, correct in love, and don’t stir up anger. The Lord has given us our children as arrows we equip and then launch into the world for the glory of God.
How Do We Stir to Anger? Peter Thomas O’Brien writes, “Excessively severe discipline, unreasonably harsh demands, abuse of authority, arbitrariness, unfairness, constant nagging and condemnation, subjecting a child to humiliation.” We are training and forming our children, which involves discipline. Training and instruction show us that the father’s heavy responsibility is to see their children develop both character-wise and spiritually into maturity. Fathers God has given you the tools needed to raise your children. What he has given us is the Gospel of Jesus Christ. We should parent as the Lord does us. When the Lord has to discipline us, it is in grace, truth, and always pointing us back to the Gospel.
Our kids will do foolish things, but it is willful disobedience we are steadily correcting. Parenting is hard, and depending on your personality, discipline can leave you feeling flustered or angry. Sometimes it is a bit of both. James 1:19-20 says, “My dear brothers and sisters, understand this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger. “for human anger does not accomplish God’s righteousness.” Even when we discipline our kids, we have to be careful it is not in anger. Yet, using even our discipline to point them back to the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Our desire as parents should be to have our kid’s hearts and them to know the Lord as Savior. Our love needs to be Gospel-centered and our discipline. Both parents work together to accomplish the purpose of God. Proverbs even tells us, “Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction, and don’t reject your mother’s teaching” Proverbs 1:8.
A DIFFERENT TYPE OF HOME
As we reclaim a biblical view of the home, marriage, and family, our lives should reflect what we believe. As James reminds us, “We are not only hearers of the word, but doers.” I remember growing up and going to different family homes where the Bible sat like a table centerpiece. It was always open to either Psalm 23 or Psalm 91. Almost as a lucky rabbit’s foot, the Bible served as a sacred decoration. I mean that while these homes had the Bible open, they were not living out the Scriptures daily. They were living the same drama-filled lives as their unsaved neighbors. Take away the lucky Bible concept and put in its place the lucky church attender. When it is convenient, the family who attends church service hear the sermon, and bibles remain close until the next time they darken the church’s doors. This dynamic creates a faith that is dead and families where a biblical worldview is lacking. What are some ways we can see this turned around? Come back next week for part two.
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