(This is part three of the blog series seeing Jesus Family. In this post we look at the wife and her role in the family)
Why appeal for marriage if we are talking about the family? Understand this is not dismissing single-parent homes. As you read earlier, this was my upbringing. However, we find in the Scriptures that God created man and woman to become one flesh to raise godly children in a home together. The breakdown of the nuclear home should concern us. According to the Institute of Family Studies, “The social science is clear: children who are raised by their married parents are more likely to thrive. That’s because they tend to enjoy more stability, more money, more consistent discipline, and more attention than their peers in other families.” While the culture steadily pushes a different view of family, we must stand firm on the Word of God and His design as Christians.
If marriage is not antiquated and has a clear definition found in the Word of God, then isn’t it oppressive? We have heard this as of late from the culture, and sadly many Christians have brought into this lie. The culture takes that which is the exception and makes that the rule. Are their dysfunctional families and unfaithful husbands and wives? Yes, but that is not the standard. Faithful biblical families are not oppressive but are places where husbands, wives, and children flourish to the glory of God. A Christian marriage is Christ’s example and reflects in our homes through submission, respect, and sacrificial love. A home where children obey, and instruction and discipline are rooted in Christ. Ephesians 5:22-6:1 gives us the biblical model for a home centered on Christ. In these passages, we see Jesus as the center of the entire family.
A JOYFUL SUBMISSION
“Wives, submit, to your husbands as to the Lord, because the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of the body” Ephesians 5:22.
Faithfully studying the Biblical text will lead us to properly understand the command of submission of wives within a marriage. Sadly within some Christian churches, submission has become a four-letter word and a symbol of oppression. For some, a reason to reject even the biblical gender design of men and women. Bad teaching or improper practice of the Biblical text does not negate the truth of the text.
Paul wrote to Christians steeped in a Roman ideology of life and practice. According to Roman culture, the husband had no command to love his wife, but the husband was taught to make his wife submit. Secondly, according to some theologians, greek thinkers could not see wives as equals since husbands were usually older than wives.
The Apostle Paul makes both a theological and practical point. Wives, submit, come under, follow the lead of, and trust your husband. In what way, well, in the same way, you submit to the Lord. A godly wife joyfully follows the Lord. A godly wife loves Jesus, trusts him, and submits to His leadership. A woman who the Gospel has transformed finds her joy in following the leading of the Lord. Her life surrendered to the Lord trusts in Him alone. Paul uses Christ and his relationship with the church as an example of marriage. Ephesians 1:22 tells us, “And he subjected everything under his feet, and appointed him as head over everything for the church.” Eph 1:22.
The church joyfully submits under his rule and righteousness. We trust in his leadership and follow; this is a joyful and willful submission. The idea of headship is not a dictatorship. The weight of Christian leadership has the husband not lording over the wife but showing grace, truth, and love. The husband’s leadership is rooted in humility and the Gospel, where Jesus is the ultimate hope. Is it any wonder the Bible tells Christians to marry another Christian? Pastor Warren Wiersbe wrote, “If the Christian is submitted to Christ, he will not try to establish a home that disobeys the Word of God .”
How does this look practically? A wife who loves Jesus seeks to honor him, and she does this by giving honor and respect to her spouse. This honor is given even when the spouse does not show they deserve it. Titus tells us that this is the type of woman who gives a defense for Christian living by her lifestyle. “to be self-controlled, pure, workers at home, kind, and in submission to their husbands so that God’s word will not be slandered” Tt 2:5. Joyful submission does not mean becoming a doormat for abuse or following a spouse in sinful behavior. In short, a godly wife obeys God first, which is the boundary she operates in.
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