I struggle with anxiety. It has been a struggle for me most of my life. It can manifest in different ways; while much better than it was, it is still there. I feel the tightness of my throat, the shallow breathing, and the overanalyzing of thoughts that can leave me gripped with fear. In fact, the person I am most critical of is myself.
Sadly, this is the street I have lived on for quite a while. I move out at times, only to move back in at a moment’s notice. My thoughts often are belittling of myself. You haven’t worked hard enough; you don’t deserve to rest, your leadership is horrible, you should quit the ministry, you have let too many people down. This thought cycle often leaves me paralyzed with irrational fears. This type of thinking and anxiety can force leaders into the people-pleasing trap. Those who struggle with anxiety can go overboard and seek to make everyone happy. When they feel someone is not pleased with them, they imploded on themselves, always feeling that they have let everyone down. This type of leader can be doing an amazing job, working hard, loving their family and community, but constantly feel like a failure.
Pastors face the same struggles as everyone are being sanctified by the working of the Holy Spirit.
Paul Tripp writes,
Could it be that one of the dark secrets of pastoral ministry is that a whole lot of what we do is driven by worry and not by faith?
Could it be that much of ministry is shaped by a long catalog of “what ifs” at the functional level?
See, as pastors, we are not alone in this struggle. Sadly the current culture we live in exacerbates any anxiety we struggle with. In fact, the bigger, better, stronger motif has plagued the church for too long. I believe Covid, while slowing down much, only added to the mix. You have to have the best live stream, get all your political ducks in a row, care for those who may not desire to be cared for, keep the church going and prayerfully have enough resources to continue the ministry. Then, on top of all this, the church’s added pressure to be the community’s economic engine, fix every social justice issue and be the perfect demographic mix of a community.
Pastor, the truth is, all the weight is not on you. It is impossible for you to not only do everything but be everything for everybody. Again Paul Tripp reminds us, “The welfare of the church is not the pastor’s job—it is the Lord’s promise. The pastor’s job is simply to use his God-given gifts in public and private gospel ministry.”
The Apostle Paul shared his weakness openly only to boast in the sufficiency of the grace of Christ. He struggled with anxiety and the pressure of caring. He writes, “Not to mention other things, there is the daily pressure on me: my concern for all the churches” (2 Corinthians 11:28). Pastor, the Lord knows the pressure you feel, the weight of it all you want to share, but feel like you can’t out of fear of what those closest to you will think. This is not to say other people don’t struggle in this way, but I want to address specifically those in pastoral ministry.
For some of us, we have been preaching the truth that we need to apply to our weary hearts. The rest of Christ is not just for those in the pew but also for the pastor. Maybe the answer is not quitting but finding rest for your soul. That rest is only found in Christ. His burden is easy, and he has promised to give us rest.
Pastor, you don’t need to please everyone or continue to add more to your plate to show your worthiness in the kingdom. Be faithful to your calling, glorify the Lord and love your family well. . In the end, you have a Father who loves you and is in your corner, encouraging you not to grow weary, but depend on Him.
You may be reading this, and you need to take some time off, find a hobby to recharge, or even talk to a counselor.
You may be struggling with anxiety today, but remember His grace is sufficient.
“Come to me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take up my yoke and learn from me, because I am lowly and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light” (Matthew 11:28-30).
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