Lets face it, marriage is under attack in our country. If society can redefine marriage and recreate roles, then perversion becomes the norm and the next generation suffers.
Marriage is a God thing, no matter what any secular humanist will tell you. He created it, gave purpose to it, and called it good.
“Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” Gen 2:24
As Believers, marriage should matter to us. Our marriages should be the most vibrant, healthy and whole. Sadly, the church has not been immune to divorce and reflect similar divorce rates as the world. However, in Jesus Christ, there is always hope. No matter your season of marriage, the Word of God has the answers to save, strengthen, and produce a vibrant marriage.
Here are a few nuggets of wisdom that I’ve picked up over the past eight years of marriage:
1. Allow the Holy Spirit to be your marriage counselor.
When the Holy Spirit is your counselor and guide, you love like Jesus and have a marriage that reflects His love. I had to learn early that it was impossible to love my wife in my own strength.
In order for me to love her as Christ loved the church, I had to yield my own selfish desires and follow the lead of the Holy Spirit. He brought peace through arguments, disagreements and constantly pointed me back to Jesus. The Holy Spirit is the true marriage counselor.
2. Money doesn’t have to equal problems.
More money or no money doesn’t have to equal major problems. What I discovered is most couples don’t necessarily need more money, but proper stewardship and communication. As believers we get the giving part down, but forget to flip the coin over and address our stewardship, or handling of money.
Talk about it, refuse debt, budget and have a vision for your money. Your marriage is more important than the two nickels in your bank account.
3. You’ve got to pray to make it today.
Sad to say, many Christian couples don’t take time to pray together or for one another. The Bible says that a three-fold cord is not easily broken. Yet, so many couples end up unraveled from a lack of prayer. I don’t need to call the prayer line when I have my most powerful prayer partner in the house with me.
4. Intimacy is key.
I’m not just talking about watching the latest romantic comedy with your wife, but true heartfelt intimacy. Those times of talking, holding hands and listening are like seeds that when planted and watered, produce a harvest for years to come.
Its easy after you have been married a few years to get into surface level intimacy. Trust me, your spouse is like a deep well, get to know her heart and you will be blessed for it.
5. Use words to cultivate your spouse.
How often do you speak words of life over your spouse? Instead of complaining, find scripture to speak over their life. Each day I declare the word of God over my wife and children. I know I’ll have to give an account to Jesus on how I treated His daughter.
With that in mind, I ask myself whether I am helping her become the best she can be. As a result, I have purposed to see her flourish and not wilt under harsh words that burn deeper than the sun.
6. Date nights are a must.
The kids will be okay with a babysitter for a few hours and your marriage will thank you for it. Remember when you hung out all the time before you got married and talked to each other on the phone until it was glued to our face? Why stop just because you’re married? I know life gets busy, but you can never be too busy to date your spouse.
Get away for a weekend, establish a weekly or bi weekly date night, talk, laugh, hangout and keep the fire of love burning!
7. Enjoy the spouse of your youth.
Is your marriage fun or as serious as a military standoff between two waring nations? Marriage should be fun and full of life. Whether you have been married for 1 year or 30, your love for one another should be as new as when you first met.
If you’re asking where is the love, then look no further than the mirror. Ask Jesus to restore what may have been lost, to a newness. He is the master of making all things new.
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